What Happens to Love After the Wedding?

1. The opening illustration raises questions many married and divorced individuals are asking today. In your marriage, perhaps you have asked some of the same questions. Drawing from your own marriage experience, what other questions might you add to these?  (What happens to love after the wedding? Is my experience common?  Is that why we have so many divorces in our country?  Those who don’t divorce, do they learn to live with the emptiness, or does love really stay alive in some marriages?  If so, how?)

a. What is the emotional core of all of these questions?

b. What is the source of love?  How can we keep it as the driving force in our marriage?

2. What solutions have you found useful in solving some of the problems that couples face in their marital relationships?

a. Who is the first one to turn to when you have a conflict with your spouse?

b. What counsel do you seek?  (books, videos, alcohol, family, friends, therapist, pastor)

3. Dr. Chapman states that “the desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup.”  As we strive to fulfill that desire, what is the basic truth many are missing?

a. How much of a priority is placed on romance after the first month of marriage? First year?  Ten years?

b. Does romance look the same over time?

4. What are primary and secondary languages? How does each function in our marriages? In our other relationships?

a. If you do not speak your secondary languages consistently, do you forget them?

b. How do you go about learning another love language?

5. As we communicate with our spouses, what is the key to our being effective communicators of love?

a. What is the key to effectively receiving that communication?

b. How can you improve your own communication skills?