A Better Way of Loving

Fireproof Your Marriage

Based on “The Love Dare” by Stephen & Alex Kendrick

Objective: To begin loving unconditionally and selflessly as we reflect God’s love for us.

In the first scene, Caleb has saved money to purchase a boat.  How much money did he have put away for the boat?  In the second scene, Catherine finds out that Caleb paid $24,000 to “buy medical equipment” for Catherine’s mother.  Why is the amount of money significant?  What specifically did Caleb do?

Philippians 2:3-4

How do Caleb’s actions in the second scene align with this verse?

At the time Caleb paid for the medical equipment, Catherine was still planning to divorce him.  So there was a very real possibility Caleb would spend the money for the equipment and still wind up divorced from Catherine.  Put yourself in Caleb’s position – how difficult would it be for you to make that decision?  In your own life, have you ever made a risky decision out of love for someone?  Share the story as part of your discussion

One of the questions in Session 2 was, “Who do you think is more important to Caleb, himself or his wife?”  How would you answer it now?  If you feel that Caleb changed, what do you think caused the change?

Romans 5:6-8

This passage provides an excellent example of Jesus’ unconditional love for us.  As you read, did you see any conditions we must fulfill in order to be loved by God?  What words, phrases or concepts touch you the most in this Scripture?

In what ways can love be conditional?  What are some conditions that people apply to loving a spouse?  What are the consequences when those conditions aren’t met?

John 13:34-35

Does loving others sound like a suggestion?  Or is the wording in this passage stronger than that?  Which words in these two verses indicate how important it is that we love our spouse and others around us?

John 15:9-17

In verse 9 of this passage, Jesus tells us to “remain in my love.”  In what ways can we “remain in His love?”  How do you think “remaining” in Jesus’ love enables us to love others?

Why do you think Jesus wants us to love one another?  One answer is in the previous passage, John 13:35.  What are some other reasons?

Verse 13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  What does Jesus mean in this verse, and is there more than one meaning?  In what ways can we “lay down our lives” for one another?

1 Peter 4:8

If you love someone deeply, can that love “cover a multitude” of your own sins?  Can loving another person deeply cause you to see past their sins?  How so?  Share an example from your own life during your discussion.

FIREPROOFING AT HOME APPLICATION

FIREPROOFING FOR MEN & WOMEN

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Read through the story of Prince Jonathan and King David.  You can also read all or parts of 1 Samuel 20 for more details on their friendship.  Compare Jonathan’s treatment of David to the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  In what ways does he align with this verse?

The chart below shows the description of love from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 with each characteristic listed in the first column.  In the second column, write down a recent example of this characteristic from you own life.  You can note either a time in which you DID display this characteristic (e.g. a time in which you were patient with your spouse), or you can list a time in which you did NOT display the characteristic (e.g. you kept a record of wrongs by reminding your mate of a past sin while in the midst of an argument.)  Pick an example that helps you best understand how well you’re doing at following this definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13.

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CHARACTERISTIC OF LOVE  – GIVE A RECENT EXAMPLE FROM MY LIVE

Patience

Kindness

Does not envy

Does not boast

Is not proud

Is not rude

Is not self-seeking

Is not easily angered

Keeps no record of wrongs

Does not delight in evil

Rejoices with the truth

Protects

Trusts

Hopes

Perseveres

CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

The passage from 1 Corinthians tells us that love is, “not self-seeking.”  That’s a tough one, because as humans we are sinful and tend to focus on our own needs.  This week your Fireproofing Challenge is to love you mate in a way that is not self-seeking.  For a full week, focus on putting your mate first.  Each time you make a decision that affects your spouse, set aside your needs and make the choice that is best for your mate.  Pray for God to give you guidance and encouragement in this area.  You might even want to find a good way to remind yourself of your Fireproofing Challenge; you could wear a colorful wristband during the day, or you could post a note in an area where you will see it frequently.

FIREPROOFING FOR COUPLES

Open your time together with prayer, asking God to give you wisdom as well as a receptive heart and mind.

Which of these characteristics have you found easiest to follow?  Which have you most struggled with?

Review you answers from question 2 in the Fireproofing for Women/Men section.  Pick out a few of the answers you feel are the most significant and discuss them.  If there are characteristics you feel describe your spouse’s treatment of you, tell them.  For example, if your mate is very good at showing you trust, let him/her know how that makes you feel loved.

At the end of the week, talk about your experience with the Fireproofing Challenge.  How did it impact your relationship this week?