Love for a Lifetime

Love For A Lifetime

Objective: Develop a full understanding of marriage as a lifelong covenant.

What differences do you observe in how Caleb and Michael view marriage vows?

The emotions surrounding a difficult marriage can be very strong; partners sometimes rationalize and defend a poor decision.  As Caleb talks with Michael, how does he explain the pending divorce?  Write down the reasons he gives.

Michael tells Caleb, “I’ve seen you run into a burning building to save people you don’t even know, but you’re going to let your own marriage burn to the ground.”  Why do you think some people work through their marriage problems but others do not?

Matthew 19:5-6

What word or phrase does Jesus use to describe marriage?

Michael warns Caleb to not pull apart the salt and pepper shakers, saying that he will break one or both of them.  What are some of the real-life consequences of divorce?

Jesus says that man is not to separate what God has joined together.  In the movie Fireproof, some of Catherine’s friends blame Caleb for the problems in their marriage.  Catherine also becomes very close to a male doctor at the hospital where she works.  List some ways in which people can “separate” (i.e. physically, emotionally, spiritually) a married couple.

Malachi 2:14-16

This passage refers to divorce as “breaking faith”.  The King James Version uses the phrase “dealt treacherously,” which means to not take vows seriously.  What does this say about how God views divorce?

Verse 16 says that God hates divorce.  What do you think some of the reasons might be?

Look at verse 16 carefully.  Is there a distinction between “God hates divorce” and “God hates people who divorce”?  Explain your answer.

Ecclesiastes 5:4-5

What direction is given in this passage?  How would it apply to marriage?

How does this principle differ from the world’s view of a covenant relationship, i.e. is it contingent on both parties fulfilling their obligations?

FIREPROOFING AT HOME APPLICATION – Ecclesiastes 5:4-5

FIREPROOFING FOR WOMEN

When you first got married, how solemn and permanent did you consider your vows?  How fully did you understand the nature of a covenant?  (Note:  If you are not yet married, answer this question in light of how you view future wedding vows.)

Some traditional wedding vows are listed below.  Rate how well you feel you’ve kept each vow in your marriage (with 1 being the lowest rating and 10 being the highest.)  If you wrote your own vows or used something different, substitute those vows as you answer the questions.  If you are not yet married, rate yourself on how well you understand and are committed to the vow.

To have and to hold (how well have you bonded and “held” to your husband?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

For better or for worse (how stable is your treatment of your husband, regardless of circumstances?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

For richer or for poorer (how well does your marriage stand up to financial pressures)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

In sickness and in health (is your marriage affected by health struggles?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

To love and to cherish (refer to your accomplishment of the principles in Ephesians 5 from last session)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

I pledge my faithfulness (are you faithful to your husband?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

Matthew 19:5-6

Is there anything or anyone that “separates” you from your husband?  What one step can you take this week to address the issues?

FIREPROOFING FOR MEN

When you first got married, how solemn and permanent did you consider your vows?  How fully did you understand the nature of a covenant?  (Note:  If you are not yet married, answer this question in light of how you view future wedding vows.)

Some traditional wedding vows are listed below.  Rate how well you feel you’ve kept each vow in your marriage (with 1 being the lowest rating and 10 being the highest.)  If you wrote your own vows or used something different, substitute those vows as you answer the questions.  If you are not yet married, rate yourself on how well you understand and are committed to the vow.

To have and to hold (how well have you bonded and “held” to your wife?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

For better or for worse (how stable is your treatment of your wife, regardless of circumstances?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

For richer or for poorer (how well does your marriage stand up to financial pressures)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

In sickness and in health (is your marriage affected by health struggles?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

To love and to cherish (refer to your accomplishment of the principles in Ephesians 5 from last session)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

I pledge my faithfulness (are you faithful to your wife?)

1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9              10

Matthew 19:5-6

Is there anything or anyone that “separates” you from your wife?  What one step can you take this week to address the issues?

FIREPROOFING CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK

Select the vow to which you gave the lowest rating.  Identify the key reason(s) for the rating.  What can you begin to do to improve that rating?  (For example:  expressing your love for your wife in a clear manner, resolving financial issues and/or trusting them to God, being completely faithful…)  Write down one key step and begin to practice it this week.

FIREPROOFING FOR COUPLES

Open your time together with prayer, asking God to give you wisdom as well as a receptive heart and mind.

Matthew 19:5-6

Together, list the ways in which you feel you have become “one flesh”.  How are your lives and hearts intertwined?

Review your answers to the marriage vow ratings.  Do any of your spouse’s answers surprise you?  Do you disagree with any of them?  Discuss the reasons for each rating, affirm high marks an talk about how you might improve any low ones.

Share the one step you will take (from the Fireproofing Challenge section) to better fulfill your marriage vows.