He First Loved Us

Fireproof Your Marriage

Based on “The Love Dare” by Stephen & Alex Kendrick

He First Loved Us

Objective: Learn the importance of experiencing God’s love, and reflecting His love to others.

Romans 5:5 and 1 John 4:19

What do these verses teach about how and why we are able to love?

Philippians 2:1-4

Verses 1 and 2 of this passage form a conditional statement that starts with “if” and continues with “then.  Read through the verses carefully.  What conditions start with the word “if”?

What does this passage say we need to have in order to love others?  In particular, what do we receive when we’re united with Christ?  What do we need from the Holy Spirit?

How does Caleb’s behavior in the video contrast with verses 3 and 4 in this passage?

Think about John Holt’s answer to his son, “You can’t love her because you can’t give her what you don’t have.”  How does John’s point align with this passage?  What “if” condition(s) does Caleb most need in his life in order to love his wife?

Think about your marriage (or other significant relationships in your life).  To what degree do you try to manage the relationship using your own wisdom and abilities?  What’s the result?

1 John 4:7-19

This passage of Scripture explains how God’s love for us works in our lives.  As you read through these verses, what phrases or ideas particularly touch you?

What does verse 13 say God has given us to enable us to “live in Him?”  Give some practical examples from your life of how you know God lives in you.

FIREPROOFING AT HOME APPLICATION – John 3:16

FIREPROOFING FOR WOMEN

John 3:16

In this week’s video, Caleb is missing the Source of real love in his life.  The foundation for this love is described in the most famous verse in the Bible – John 3:16.  How would you answer this week’s burning question, “Do you know God’s love, and do you reflect that love to your spouse?”

1 John 4:18

God’s love for us and within us is perfect.  As you read this verse, is there anything you fear about fully and unconditionally loving your spouse?  About loving God?  Identify any fears you have, and pray for God to help you “drive out the fear” with His love.

This week the group discussed loving through God versus trying to love using your own strength and ability.  Below are several ways in which you can love your spouse through God.  Rate yourself on each question.

How frequently do you study God’s word about love and marriage, and use that wisdom to guide you?

Very Infrequently               Infrequently               Neutral               Frequently               Very Frequently

When you struggle to love your spouse, how likely are you to pray for God’s encouragement, strength and guidance?

Very Unlikely               Unlikely               Neutral               Likely               Very Likely

How likely are you to ask God to help you view and love your spouse in the same way He does?

Very Unlikely               Unlikely               Neutral               Likely               Very Likely

How frequently do you pray for your spouse?

Very Infrequently               Infrequently               Neutral               Frequently               Very Frequently

FIREPROOFING FOR MEN

John 3:16

In this week’s video, Caleb is missing the Source of real love in his life.  The foundation for this love is described in the most famous verse in the Bible – John 3:16.  How would you answer this week’s burning question, “Do you know God’s love, and do you reflect that love to your spouse?”

1 John 4:18

God’s love for us and within us is perfect.  As you read this verse, is there anything you fear about fully and unconditionally loving your spouse?  About loving God?  Identify any fears you have, and pray for God to help you “drive out the fear” with His love.

This week the group discussed loving through God versus trying to love using your own strength and ability.  Below are several ways in which you can love your spouse through God.  Rate yourself on each question.

How frequently do you study God’s word about love and marriage, and use that wisdom to guide you?

Very Infrequently               Infrequently               Neutral               Frequently               Very Frequently

When you struggle to love your spouse, how likely are you to pray for God’s encouragement, strength and guidance?

Very Unlikely               Unlikely               Neutral               Likely               Very Likely

How likely are you to ask God to help you view and love your spouse in the same way He does?

Very Unlikely               Unlikely               Neutral               Likely               Very Likely

How frequently do you pray for your spouse?

Very Infrequently               Infrequently               Neutral               Frequently               Very Frequently

FIREPROOFING CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK

There are two options for the Fireproofing Challenge this week.

OPTION 1: If you haven’t already entered into a lifelong relationship with God, do it now; you can then use His great love to support a lasting marriage.  God’s love doesn’t require perfection or complicated steps.  Although sin separates us from God, God has made a way for us.  Jesus came to bridge the gap between a perfect God and imperfect mankind.  As the Bible states:

“If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” -Romans 10:9

That’s all it takes – just an acknowledgement of you sins, your need for God’s love and the sacrifice Jesus made for you.  If made with a sincere and open heart, this confession will bring God’s presence into your soul and give you eternal life with your Creator.

If you want to receive this gift of love from God, simply pray a prayer like this:

Dear Jesus, I don’t know why you love me so much that you were willing to die a terrible death just for me.  But I know that you did it so my sins could be forgiven and I could enter into a relationship with God.  I know that I have sinned against you and that my sins separate me from you.  I am truly sorry – please forgive me.  Help me avoid temptation and sin as I follow you.  Thank you for loving me and dying for me.  I offer my life to you today, Jesus, and turn the reins over to you.  Thank you for your sacrifice, and for allowing me to know your perfect love.  Amen.

If you prayed this prayer, tell your spouse.

OPTION 2: If you already have a committed relationship with Jesus, then you have His love and the Holy Spirit to help you love your spouse.

Look at your answers in question 3.  Select the lowest-ranked question and for the rest of the week focus on improvements you can make in this area.  Pray for your spouse and about the areas in which you could improve.

FIREPROOFING FOR COUPLES

Open your time together with prayer, asking God to give you wisdom as well as a receptive heart and mind.

1 John 4:7-19

In what ways do you follow the teaching in this passage in regard to your spouse?  In what ways do you struggle to love each other as God first loved you?

Review your ratings from question 3 in the Fireproofing for Women/Men section.  Discuss the reasons for each and how you might improve any low ratings.

Share the one step you are taking (from the Fireproofing Challenge section) to love each other better.  If you made a decision to accept God’s love through His Son Jesus, share that news with your spouse.